You Have to Balance All the Roles you Lead, with and without a title...
Tracy’s great at keeping all the balls up in the air! It was impressive, but occasionally one dropped and it was usually at the most inopportune time possible. She tried to keep all areas of her life balanced all the time, but now it seemed when she was doing well at work, the home life suffered and vice versa.
It’s a common problem. We make sure to balance those things for which there are structured consequences for dropping balls. (i.e. failing at work can get you fired) In the other areas of our life, where we may not have a name tag or title, but are still the leader, we see less urgency in figuring out how to balance. There are no structured consequences usually in our life and our kids aren’t going to fire us.
Further, at work, the “balance” asked of those with a leadership title is based on timelines. It’s the battle waged between the urgent and the important. Yet, when we focus on the urgent, there is little time for the important and when that happens, we develop guilt over not balancing the important which makes us lax and less attentive to the stuff at work which creates dropped balls there. See a pattern? Here are a few ways to lead both parts of your world, find balance and earn the titles you’re really looking for like “Good Person”, “#1 Mom” and more.
Develop Your Patience
The need for instant gratification will get you into trouble. Remember everything has a season, peaks and valleys go together, good days and bad days are a nice balance and that your time frame will not look like everyone else’s.
Be Nice to Yourself
We spend too much time “shoulding” all over ourselves and not enough time giving ourselves credit for the 4 million things we did. Instead, we focus on the one that we forgot. Either improve your memory or simply give yourself a break.
Clarify the Urgent VS the Important for You
Figure out if something is important to you or someone else, or just urgent, period.
You can do this! But, if you are expecting perfection all the time, in all areas… well, that’s another article.
About the Author
Monica Wofford, CSP founded The Contagious Confidence™ Conference for Women, in 2007. She can be reached at www.contaigousconferences.com or (866) 382-0121
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Leading in Times Like These
What is the difference between good times and these times?
There are a couple of things, but the key question is do you lead differently during tough times than you lead during great times? The short answer is "no", but there's more.
When I have led teams through muliple mergers, budget crunches and hiring freezes, the stress gets high and the emotions run wild, but the reality is that those you lead are still looking to you for leadership, guidance, motivation and understanding.
Keep in mind leadership doesn't mean you doing all the work, it means you are developing those you have the privilege of leading.Tough times are not an excuse to stop leading or to stop leading well, they are merely a reason for you to improve your skills that much more and keep on truckin'. (er, I mean leading) That may also mean that what becomes most important in "tough times" is your skill level, your persistance, your ability to avoid taking stressed out reactions personally, and your drive to push through it until the "times" improve.
Stay Contagious!
Monica
There are a couple of things, but the key question is do you lead differently during tough times than you lead during great times? The short answer is "no", but there's more.
When I have led teams through muliple mergers, budget crunches and hiring freezes, the stress gets high and the emotions run wild, but the reality is that those you lead are still looking to you for leadership, guidance, motivation and understanding.
Keep in mind leadership doesn't mean you doing all the work, it means you are developing those you have the privilege of leading.Tough times are not an excuse to stop leading or to stop leading well, they are merely a reason for you to improve your skills that much more and keep on truckin'. (er, I mean leading) That may also mean that what becomes most important in "tough times" is your skill level, your persistance, your ability to avoid taking stressed out reactions personally, and your drive to push through it until the "times" improve.
Stay Contagious!
Monica
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Leaders: When Times are Tough
Leaders: When Times are Tough use your skills and make some TRADES. We are not talking about stock market trading, or trading your values for something else, we are talking about what TRADE stands for. Contagious Leaders TRADE when times are good and especially when times are tough. Take a look:
1. Take things professionally, not personally
Not everything is a personal affront and when times get tough, we tend to be a bit more sensitive to taking things personally from others. Look at someone's stressful reaction, consider your own stress level and then consciously make a decision about how you are going to react. Taking things personally is a reaction, not a conscious decision. Leaders make conscious decision.
2. Remember the power of your words
What you say carries more weight than you might think and a few of the words that carry the most weight are: but, however, and why. But and However tend to negate all the words that come before them. Think of "I love you, but... ". How does that sound? Why, on the other hand, is one of the most defensive mood creating words you could use. Try instead saying things like "help me understand" or "can you share some of your reasoning with me" are better at getting the information you seek. Why will bring you a reaction that gives the recipient a reason to think you are questioning their judgment.
3. Act as if “You’re cool!”
In our Contagious Conferences we use a phrase that helps you remember you are good enough and worth it. That phrase is: "I'm cool!" and you are! And if you don't believe it right now, try believing it just for now and see if you can make it stick. Sometimes acting as if will help to propel the real emotion. Next step is to stand in front of a mirror and say "I'm Cool!" to yourself. You will, if nothing else, laugh your way into a better mood. :)
4. Don’t let stress strangle your talent
Stress creates reactions that you don't need and stress is all perceived. We see something and we think it is stressful and then feel the affects of stress. Let me repeat, we see, THINK, and then feel. One does not feel stress and then decide why you feel that way. So, change the way you think about things and the stress will dissipate. yes, it really is that simple.
5. Escape need for balance
I wrote an article for Orlando Woman Newspaper not long ago, about balance. I assigned the concept of balance to a scale and unless you are one, it flat out does not apply. Balance is an unrealistic concept as you will always be off balance in how you spend your energies, your time, and your efforts. Now, as Dan Thurmon says, there is a big difference between being off - balance, and OUT OF BALANCE. Either, stop looking for balance and seek fulfillment.
Contagious Leaders develop the skills to do the above actions in a way that looks instinctive or natural, but the truth is we all can develop these skills and your work in this direction could begin... well... now.
Stay contagious!
Monica
1. Take things professionally, not personally
Not everything is a personal affront and when times get tough, we tend to be a bit more sensitive to taking things personally from others. Look at someone's stressful reaction, consider your own stress level and then consciously make a decision about how you are going to react. Taking things personally is a reaction, not a conscious decision. Leaders make conscious decision.
2. Remember the power of your words
What you say carries more weight than you might think and a few of the words that carry the most weight are: but, however, and why. But and However tend to negate all the words that come before them. Think of "I love you, but... ". How does that sound? Why, on the other hand, is one of the most defensive mood creating words you could use. Try instead saying things like "help me understand" or "can you share some of your reasoning with me" are better at getting the information you seek. Why will bring you a reaction that gives the recipient a reason to think you are questioning their judgment.
3. Act as if “You’re cool!”
In our Contagious Conferences we use a phrase that helps you remember you are good enough and worth it. That phrase is: "I'm cool!" and you are! And if you don't believe it right now, try believing it just for now and see if you can make it stick. Sometimes acting as if will help to propel the real emotion. Next step is to stand in front of a mirror and say "I'm Cool!" to yourself. You will, if nothing else, laugh your way into a better mood. :)
4. Don’t let stress strangle your talent
Stress creates reactions that you don't need and stress is all perceived. We see something and we think it is stressful and then feel the affects of stress. Let me repeat, we see, THINK, and then feel. One does not feel stress and then decide why you feel that way. So, change the way you think about things and the stress will dissipate. yes, it really is that simple.
5. Escape need for balance
I wrote an article for Orlando Woman Newspaper not long ago, about balance. I assigned the concept of balance to a scale and unless you are one, it flat out does not apply. Balance is an unrealistic concept as you will always be off balance in how you spend your energies, your time, and your efforts. Now, as Dan Thurmon says, there is a big difference between being off - balance, and OUT OF BALANCE. Either, stop looking for balance and seek fulfillment.
Contagious Leaders develop the skills to do the above actions in a way that looks instinctive or natural, but the truth is we all can develop these skills and your work in this direction could begin... well... now.
Stay contagious!
Monica
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